I have faith... so I believe.

Every one of us has a story to tell. We are all in different tougher situation in life but we know that this situation is just a test on how we can handle things. And this will test our faith and strength of heart. 

~ This story I made will tell you how one faith can grow and how people can truly believe. ~

I’m 15 years old and I came to a well known family. My mother and father were both doctors and it’s amazing that they were specialized in both fields. They were curing patients with cancer. They were both famous and were highly paid for it. They treated many cancer cases and I’ve heard that most of their cases were successfully done and most of their patients were cured because of their unexceptional talent in medicine. I’m very proud of my parents and I was very lucky to have them. I also dream of becoming like them someday. My parents were both proud of their achievements but never would they have imagined that I, their one and only daughter, would become one of their patient.

I, too, never have imagined it. I thought I was secured of not getting sick because my parents were both doctors. Since I was a kid I always feel protected and I always feel secured. My parents won’t allow any diseases to weaken my body. They gave me vitamins to be healthy. I eat fruits and vegetables everyday and have my morning jog and exercise to be fit and healthy. I have my nanny taking care of me when my mother’s out for her job. I have my body guard to secure my safety inside and outside our house. I’m not afraid of being sick or having any kind of disease because I’m confident that my parents can easily cure me and I’ll easily get better. It never crossed my mind that I, will someday have cancer, because I thought only unhealthy people got sick. But I was very wrong.

Lately, I was diagnosed to have a brain cancer. The worst scenario was having it diagnosed on its worst stage “the stage of being impossible to cure and impossible to survive”. My mother and father knew it but because they were both doctors they will do anything to make the impossible possible. They will do and give anything to save me.

I never knew that I had a malignant cancer until it was diagnosed. I felt its symptoms like having headaches but I just thought that it was just a stressed of maintaining my high grades at school.  It’s because I wanted my parents to be proud of me. And it’s also because I want to have a vacation outside the country just like what they’ve always promise me when I got good grades. It was fun visiting other countries and knowing other people’s culture. I love it and I was glad to be able to experience those happy trips together with my parents. I thought my happiness will never end and I thought I had everything. I thought I will live this life wonderfully and I thought I will never suffer any pain in this world… but I did. And I guess I suffer most.

When it was diagnosed and confirmed. I immediately put in a famous hospital in a country. Since both of my parents were famous and known in their field I was having the privilege of getting the most highly recommend treatment for my case. But my treatment was harsh. I’m in pain most of the time. My head was aching and it’s unbearable sometimes. I’m always weak and dizzy. They injecting high doses of drugs in my veins and everyday I should take them. I feel that all the parts of my body were numb. And I feel sometimes that sooner or later I’ll going to die.

My parents said that we should not lose hope. They will do everything for me to survive this cancer. They introduce me to different famous surgeon and they were all proved and tested to be the best. They studied my case and they prepared me for an operation. My mother told me to hold on and be brave. I know I shouldn’t be scared but still I can’t help it. My operation was tough as I heard the doctors saying it to my parents. My life will be in danger if my operation wasn’t successful. But my parents won’t accept it and sometimes I heard them arguing with the other doctors. They were both confident that they can save me and they won’t let me die.  

I met many survivors of cancer and they all have good story to tell. How they fight it and how they win it. They say that to be able to survive you should have faith. Faith in GOD, they say. But I’m not a religious person and I most believe in scientific basis. Just like what we always say “to see is to believe” and I believe that HE is just a fabrication of one’s thought and just made to be able to have something to believe in. For me GOD is just Santa Claus in Christmas Eve, made to entertain children. For me, he really does not exist. Well, maybe I have faith too… but it’s faith with my parents and doctors. Thus, I would like to believe in my parents more than I believe in GOD and so I believe that like the others, I will survive this operation and I am very confident that my parents can save me.

But then I met this young boy who shares to me his belief. His parents left him since the day he was born and the only family he had was his grandmother who accepted him and loved him dearly. He was not one of the survivors of cancer but he had a big tumor on his face that causes him not to communicate anymore. Doctors said that the tumor was progressing that they can’t remove it because it will harm the boy and he may die. But the fact that he was also come from a very poor family and can’t afford to have an operation was I know the main reason why he could not survive. "Money matters" they say. But this young boy shows me that happiness and hope can’t be found and get in material things one could have. But having faith was enough to make him stronger. This young boy never saw the beauty of this world yet he believed that the world is beautiful. His grandmother knows that this young boy will someday be gone in this world but still have faith that he will get better. Their belief and faith in GOD was strong enough to be able to see them happy despite of their situation. And every time I see them happy I can’t help to be happy for them too and wish that I, too, could have the same faith they had.

Then one day the young boy passed away. It really broke my heart when I heard it and I couldn’t help thinking why their belief didn’t save them. Yet, I was surprised to hear to his grandmother that she was glad that GOD finally ends her grandson’s suffering. I really don’t understand how faith and belief works and exists to one person. Until, it was happen to me.

Before my operation, I was surprised that my mother gave me a bible. She said it will give me strength and hope. It might also give miracle she added. She also confessed to me that they tried to bring me to famous healers, but they thought it was ridiculous bringing me there and let me treated with magic and stuff, so they’ve cancelled it. Hearing it to a skilled doctor like my mother makes me laugh but it also makes my faith in them lessen a bit and it makes me scared, I’m scared of dying.

How was it like? I thought. I thought that dying was painful. I was afraid of it and the thought of dying became my nightmare. Every night I can’t sleep. I’m afraid that I will never wake up again. But my eyes were tired and my body was so weak so I thought that sleeping was not bad. Every time I closed my eyes it felt good. It relaxed me and for just an hour and so I didn’t feel any pain. Then I thought that dying was better than having so much suffering because of my disease and treatments. Maybe the thought of not seeing everyone that I cared for was what I’m scared about and not dying, itself. Thinking about it makes me feel sad and it hurts me as well.

I was reading the bible that my mother gave to me when a doctor entered my room and said I should prepare myself in the operation. My parents will be participating as well so I was not that scared. When I was inside the operating room my parents were there holding my hands and I can see that they were worried. The anesthesia was injected and I begun to feel sedated and sleepy. Then all my senses fade away.

Deep darkness engulfed me. I can’t see, hear and feel anything. It’s like I am dreaming but can’t picture out anything. I’m just seeing a light, a very dim light. I know I was walking but I didn’t know where I’m heading to. I was like hypnotized to that light. As I was about to reach the light I suddenly feel tired and dizzy. 

Then I saw a man behind me. I can’t describe him clearly but all I know was that he was wearing an odd clothes and he has a very pleasant face. He looked at me and in his eyes he seemed worried about me. He asked me if I’m tired and I nodded. “Then I will carry you” he answered. He carried me on his back and begun to walk. I feel comfortable and secured at that moment and it feels warm. I didn’t know how long he had carried me on his back and then he suddenly stop and put me down. He said “From here you can walk by yourself.” I hold him and said “No, I can’t. I’m scared”. He smiles and says “I know you are… but you have to be brave”.  Then he asked me “Do you believe in miracles?”. Without hesitations I answered him directly “No, I don’t”. He touched my head and says “Yes, you shouldn’t. But you have to believe in one thing, in HIM.” I puzzled who he was talking about and I asked who it was. He said “HIM who made the world, HIM who made life and HIM who knows you better.”  After saying it, he disappeared. Then suddenly I woke up and I feel pain. I opened my eyes and saw my parents beside me. They were holding my hand with tears in their eyes. The doctors were seemed happy seeing that I have awakened. They said it was successful. At that moment I feel that I was like a new born child.

Years had passed since I undergo my operation. I’m still weak but I feel much better. I never talked to my parents about what I dreamed during that day and I decided to keep it to myself. It’s just I don’t want them to think that I was fabricating things out of ordinary. I was scared that they wouldn’t believe me. But it was all true to me.  Then one day my parents opened up and told something that I never thought they would say. They say that when I was in the operating room and unconscious they prayed harder and relied on a miracle to happen. I smiled and then told them that it wasn’t the miracle that saved me but GOD, the creator of life. And that was the hard proof that HE really does exist… and so I have faith and truly believes in HIM.

~ When the storms of life come upon us - and all of us will experience them - we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief toward God. The storms do not have to overcome us. We can allow God's power to lift us above them. ~

The Poor Cat

There was a young boy who was cruel to his cat. His cat named Lily and she’s the one who took all the young man’s cruelty. He makes it a habit of always beating the poor cat and he never treated her good even once. Whenever he sees his cat he always kicked her and sometimes hit his cat with a stick

The only one who loves the cat was her mother. She was the one who feeds her. But although she knew how cruel his son to their cat she can’t do anything about it. It’s just she was so busy to his job that she can’t talk to his son anymore. Whenever she says something about it she was just ignored by his son as if he never heard it. She grew tired of talking to his son and prepared not to speak anymore.

In the young man’s heart, he was just jealous to the cat. He thought that her mother loves her cat more than her own son. So he shows his hatred by hurting the poor cat. Whenever his mother went to her job and he’s left alone with the cat he never missed his revenge by making the life of the poor cat miserable. He never feeds her and always kicked his cat whenever he sees her.

He didn’t stop to do bad things to his poor cat. Until his dream taught him a lesson.  

One day at night, he had a bad dream. In his dream he became a cat. While wondering around the street he saw a food on the table inside a house. He was so hungry that he couldn’t resist of getting the food so he jumped on the table to get the food to eat. But a man saw him and kicks him really hard. The man never satisfied by just kicking him. He gets a big and thick stick and hit him many times. He, as a cat, runs fast to escape but the man caught him and throws him as far as he could. A big black out came after that and he thought that he died. When he opened his eyes, inside his dream, he was cold and very weak. His body was aching because of the wounds he gets and the pain was still there. A group of young children saw him and throw stones at him. He hides himself inside a dark place where no one will saw him. He tried to walk when no one’s around but he was so weak to move fast as he could. Then suddenly a young girl saw him. She took him and brought him to a warm place. She gave him food to eat and milk to drink. She also treats his wounds and gave him a nice place to sleep. He saw her sweet smile and her gentle touch seems to ease all his pain.

Then his mother woke him up. He was shaking and crying because his dream seems so real and the thought of it really scared him. He hugs his mother tight and his mother hugs him back. Her mother suddenly feels that she really misses hugging his son and realized that she failed to show her love and care for him because of her busy days at work. She told to his son that she will spend more time with him and promise to make up for the time that had been wasted. The young boy smiles and says “I love you mommy” and her mother kisses him.

Then he remembers his cat, lily. He hurriedly look for his cat but he couldn’t find her anywhere in the house. He feels so guilty about the cruelty he did to his cat and now he wants to compensate to what he had done. But Lily, her poor cat, is nowhere to found. She asked his mother where their cat may be and his mother said that she never saw her that day. For the first time he cares for his cat and he feels so terribly worried about her. 

Then he heard his cat “meow” in their storage room. He hurriedly opens it and found her cat lying in the box. When he touches his cat his hand got stained with blood. He thought his cat was dying so he called his mother to help him treats his cat. His mother approached the cat and in a big surprised her mother said that their cat was just fine. 

The blood that he saw was because their cat was laboring. He was so happy to know that his cat was giving birth to her kittens. He promised that he will take good care of them and always treat them good.

Years had past and this young boy turn to be a good veterinarian and leader of a group that protects the animals and caring for them.

Moral Lesson:

“Sometimes people must face the same situation or circumstances for them to know and understand what it was like”

“Do not do unto others what you don't want done to you"... The Golden Rule! (^^,)

“Eroplanong Papel”

Si Mark ay galing sa mahirap na pamilya. Maliit lang ang bahay nila na yari sa tagpi-tagping kahoy. Minsan kapag umuulan tumatagas ang tubig sa loob na kanilang bahay. Meron siyang tatlo pang kapatid at siya ang panganay sa mga ito. Ang kanyang ama ay isang karpentero at ang kanyang ina ay minsan nag lalabandera sa kanilang mga kapitbahay.

Nangangarap si Mark na magkaroon ng magandang kinabukasan. Kaya kahit mahirap sila ay nagsiskap siyang pumasok sa eskwela araw-araw. Nagtitiis siya kahit minsan ay wala siyang baon at naglalakad lamang siya papuntang paaralan, umulan man at umaraw. Kaya naman ang nag-iisang sapatos niyang pang-eskwela ay halos sira na at talagang kailangan ng palitan. Pinagtitiyagaan at minamahal parin niya ito at hindi siya nagrereklamo sa kanyang mga magulang. Kaya naman pag ang luma niyang sapatos ay nasira siya mismo ang umaayos ng mga ito.

Mabuti at masipag na bata si Mark. Tumutulong siya sa kanyang mga magulang sa paghahanap buhay. Nagbebenta siya ng mga lumang dyaryo at bote na kinulekta nya sa kanilang mga kapit bahay. Tumutulong din siya sa kanyang ina sa pagkukulekta ng labahan at pag-aalaga ng kanyang mga kapatid. Sa gabi kahit madilim na at isang lampara lang ang ginagamit niya patuloy parin siya sa pagbabasa at paggawa ng kanyang mga takdang aralin. Tunay na pinagmamalaki siya ng kanyang mga magulang.

Isang araw habang nangungulekta siya ng mga lumang bote at diyaryo ay napadaan siya sa isang malaki at magarang bahay. Napamangha siya sa ganda at laki nito at nasabi niya sa kanyang sarili “Sana magkaroon din kami ng ganitong kaganda at kalaking bahay baling araw.” Maya-maya isang magandang kotse ang pumarada sa harapan ng bahay. Nakita niyang bumaba ang isang batang lalaki na kasing idad niya. May magarang kasuotan ang batang ito at mukhang may malusog na pangangatawan. “Marahil ay marami din siyang magagandang laruan.” At “Nag-aaral marahil siya sa sikat at pribadong paaralan” ” ang sabi niya sa kanyang sarili. Nalungkot si mark dahil alam niya na hindi niya puwedeng kaibiganin ang batang ito sapagkat mahirap lamang siya at alam niya na hindi rin naman siya papansinin nito kahit na magpakilala siya. Kinuha niya ang kanya mga dalahin at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad.

Minsan ay napadaan siya muli sa malaki at magarang bahay upang mangulekta ng lumang diyaryo at mga bote. Nakita niya ang batang lalaki na mag-isang naglalaro sa loob ng kanilang bakuran. Napapalibutan ito ng magagandang laruan ngunit napansin niya na hindi ito masaya. Nang napansin ng guwardya na nakatingin siya sa bata ay tinaboy siya nito at agad na pinaalis.

Hindi naalis sa kanyan isipan ang malungkot na mukha ng mayamang batang lalaki. Nagtataka siya kung bakit ito malungkot kahit na napapalibutan ito ng marami at magagandang laruan. Nagtaka din siya kung bakit ito nag-iisa at walang kalaro.

Minsan ay naiisip niyang sumilip na palihim sa bakuran ng malaking bahay upang tignan ang mayamang batang lalaki. Nagulat siya sa kanyang nakita na ang batang ito ay naka upo sa isang wheelchair at sinusubuan ng kanyang tagapag-alaga. Maputla ito at mukhang mahinang mahina. Ibang-iba ang itsura nito nung una niyang makita. Lubos na nalungkot si Mark at awa ang kanyang nadama sa mayang batang lalaki.

Nais ni Mark na pasiyahin ang mayamang batang lalaki at ipakita ang kanyang pagnanais na ito ay gumaling. Ngunit wala siyang maisip na paraan kung paano niya ito maipapakita at maipaparating. Wala siyang pera pangbili ng kahit anong maibibigay niya, kahit sana isang mansanas lamang. Habang nag-iisip ay nakita niya ang kanyang kapatid na gumagawa ng isang eroplanong yari sa papel. Biglang pumasok sa kanyang isipan ang isang magandang paraan kung papaano niya maipaparating ang kanyang mensahe sa mayang batang lalaki. Kumuha siya ng isang malinis na papel at sinulatan niya ito ng isang mensahe. Ang mensahe niya ay:

“Nais ko sanang makita ka muli na malusog at malakas. Nais ko din makita ka na nakangiti. Magpagaling ka sana.”

Kinabukasan ay nakita niya muli ang mayamang batang lalaki na nasa kanilang bakuran. Saktong magisa lamang ito at mukhang may hinihintay. Sinamantala niya ang pagkakataon na paliparin ang ginawa niyang eroplanong papel. Inihagis niya ang eroplanong yari sa papel at saktong bumagsak ito sa harapan ng mayamang batang lalaki. Nung nakita ito ni Mark ay daglian siyang umalis ng may malakas na tibok sa kanyang puso. Magkahalong takot at saya ang nadama niya ng mga oras na iyon. Hinihiling niya na sana ay makita ng mayamang batang lalaki ang mensahe niya na isinulat sa eroplanong papel.

Lumipas ang mga araw. Wala na siyang balita sa mayamang batang lalaki. Minsan ay dumadaan siya sa bahay nito ngunit hindi na niya ito nakitang muli. Nalaman niya na katulong at ang gwardya na lamang ang nakatira sa malaki at magarang bahay. Nalungkot siya ng malaman na ang mayamang batang lalaki ay umalis na daw ng bansa upang duon ay magpatingin at magpagaling.

Araw-araw ay hindi tumigil si Mark na isama sa kanyang panalangin ang kahilingan na sana ay pagalingin ang mayamang batang lalaki sa kanyang malubhang karamdaman. Hindi humiling si Mark ng materyal na bagay. Ang kanyang palaging panalangin ay ang kalusugan niya at ng kanyang pamilya at kahit ng ibang tao katulad ng sa mayamang batang lalaki. Masaya na siya na makita silang malusog at malakas.

Isang hindi inaasahan pangyayari ang biglang dumating sa buhay ni Mark. Habang nagungulekta ng lumang dyaryo at mga bote ay napadaan siyang muli sa malaki at magarang bahay. Nagulat siya ng tinawag siyang bigla ng gwardya nito. Sa pag-aakala na bibigyan siya ng lumang dyaryo at bote ay lumapit siya rito. Hindi inaasahan na pinapasok siya nito sa loob at sinabing maghintay siya ng sandali. Ilang segundo lang at may lumabas sa bahay. Hindi ito ang gwardya at lalo na ang katulong ng malaking bahay. Ang mayamang batang lalaki ang lumabas at may dalang malaking kahon. Nagulat siya ng makita niya na malakas na ito at nakakalakad na muli. Lubos na saya ang nadama niya sa kanyang nakita. Nakangiti itong lumapit sa kanya.

“Kamusta.” sabi ng mayamang batang lalaki. Hindi makaimik sa pagtataka si Mark. Dumukot sa bulsa ang batang mayamang lalaki  at inabot sa kanya ang eroplanong papel na kanyang ginawa at nagsabi “Heto nga pala yung eroplanong pinalipad mo sa bakuran namin.” Nagulat si Mark at nagtatakang kinuha ito. “Papano mo nalaman na ako ang nagpalipad nito?” “Nakita kasi kita nung araw na pinalipad mo ang eroplanong yan eh” tugon sa kanya ng batang lalaki. Lubos na hiya ang nadama ni Mark at siya ay napayuko. “Salamat ha. Dahil sa mensahe mo sa eroplanong papel lumakas ang loob kong magpagamot at magpagaling. Masaya akong malaman na bukod sa aking mga magulang ay may nagnanais na ako ay gumaling” ang sambit ng mayamang batang lalaki. Nagulat siya sa narinig. Inabot sa kanya ang malaking kahon na dala nito. “Buksan mo. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gusto mo at kung papano ako magpapasalamat sayo. Sana magustuhan mo ang regalo ko”. Binuksan ni Mark ang malaking kahon. Ito ay naglalaman ng magagandang damit at sapatos at magagandang mga laruan. “Hindi ko ito matatanggap” sabi ni Mark habang inaabot na pabalik sa mayamang batang lalaki ang malaking kahon. “At hindi mo din kailangang magpasalamat sakin.”. Nagulat ang bata sa kanyang sinabi. “Bakit?”  “Sapat na ang makita ko na dininig ng diyos ang aking panalangin ng makita kita na malakas na at  masaya na ko dahil dito.”

Naligayahan at humanga ang mayamang batang lalaki kay Mark at biglang niyakap siya nito. “Hindi ko alam na may mabuting tao palang katulad mo.” “Nakikiusap ako na sana tanggapin mo ito at nais ko sana na maging kaibigan mo.”  inabot muli ng mayamang batang lalaki ang kanyang regalo. Tinanggap ito ni Mark na may kasamang matamis na ngiti at sabi “Masaya akong maging kaibigan mo.” Hindi maipinta ang saya sa kanilang mga mukha.

Simula nuon ay naging mabuti silang magkaibigan. Naging masaya si Mark dahil sa munting eroplanong papel ay nakapagbigay siya ng malaking pag-asa. Ngayon ay  alam niya at walang pagaalinlangang naniniwala na hindi imposible na magkaroon ng tunay na kaibigan kahit anu pa ang iyong kalagayan sa buhay. At ito din ay masasabing “ Isa sa mga tunay na yaman sa buhay!”.

The Big Old Tree

(This story is a fiction that I made. A short story that came out of my head "poof!" (not literally thou!hehe!jk). A story that will touched your heart… hope you (the reader) will like it (^^,)....)

Everybody wants a companion. Someone to talk to and share your dreams with… I thought I never get to be happy until I met her…

I’m an orphan. I don’t know whose my parent was. What’s there face and what they look like? Sometimes I wonder… but often times I don’t care. I used to be alone. No friends and No family. I live half of my childhood life in an orphanage and I used to be with different care takers and kids that have a same situation like mine. They’re all good people especially those who show that they care. Some are not quite friendly and gave us hard chores everyday. There were only few kids that I became friends with. Kids that were like me… a loner, always wanted to be alone.

I used to stay under the shades of a big tree whenever I was alone. I don’t know what the name of that tree was but all I know was it’s a huge tree. I used to hide, to sleep and to read my books there. I remember I draw that tree too on some of my sketch book but I think I had lost it. I remember how it gave me shelter and shades when it’s rainy and sunny. That tree really became part of my loneliest and happiest childhood days… but whenever I went and stay there… I always felt that I’m not alone.

Then one day I saw a girl. She was same age as me. I thought that she was a new kid in the orphanage. And it irritated me when I saw her sitting under my tree. Yes, its mine. I was the one who always there till she came along. I greeted her with a nasty and angry look on my face but she answers me with her sweet and gentle smile… and that really pisses me off. At first I used to be mean at her. I don’t talk to her and I always ignore her. I felt that the day she came was the day she conquered my place, my tree… I felt that she took away one of my greatest possession… till now that I know I was wrong.

But what I really wonder was why she never got angry at me. Why she was always kind and good to me although I been so mean to her.

We’re at the same place but we never talk so much… until one day I fell on that tree. I tried to get my airplane toy that stuck on one of the brunches of that tree. It stuck in a very high branch and I was afraid to get it but I really wanted to get it back so I decided to face the danger though I know I could fell and hurt myself. And it happened, when I fell that day. I thought I died though. It was black but it’s weird that I heard a voice that’s so distant. And that voice was to her. When I opened my eyes she was there and she seems to be worried about me. I was shocked to know that I’m still alive after that incident. And what really amazing was I’m not injured at all. When I asked her what happened she just smile and said “you were lying there for an hour now and I thought you have a bad dream so I wake you up”. Was that only a dream? I know it’s not because when I woke up I saw my airplane still stuck on the brunch of that tree.

On the next day, I was still eager to get my airplane back so I decided to get a big stick for me not to climb up anymore. When I get there I saw my airplane was gone. I looked around and couldn’t found it. When I was about to lose hope she came and approached me. “Are you looking for this?” she asked. I was so happy to see my airplane and asked her how she got it. She says that she just saw it lying on the ground. I thought maybe strong wind came and blew it and it fell off that easily. That’s the time when we started to talked and became friends.

We shared lot of things. We laughed together and I sometimes bring all of my favorite books and we read it together. We play hide and seek under that tree. And I remember of calling her ninja because she was really good at hiding and when it’s my turn to hide she immediately finds me. What I really like about her was her smile and the way she listens to me. I must say that she was really a good listener and she was someone that you know who cares and wanted to know you. For the first time, in my life, I found a true friend.

I thought that I will always be happy but I’m wrong. One day she didn’t came in our place, the big tree. I thought that she just has things to do and not able to went in our playground. I used to always go there under that tree, playing there all alone; but I wonder why I felt different now. My heart was filled of sadness whenever I wait for her but she never comes. I have so many stories to tell and so many jokes to share with her but she didn’t come anymore.

There was time that I got sick. I have a high fever. My care taker says that it was due for staying long hours outside and for playing in the rain. And I know she was half right about what she says of staying long hours but not the playing and enjoying the rain outside… because I was waiting for her. I thought that the tree will always protect me… but it failed when I got sick.

4 days I had spent lying on my bed. I was so sad to not to go outside for so long… and to ease my sadness I was writing down some of the jokes I made in a piece of paper and I was thinking of giving it to her when I recovered. I was too eager to get well so that I will be able to went to that tree and saw her waiting for me.

When I recovered the first thing I did was to go to that big tree. I wait for her because I know in my heart that she will come. I put the pieces of paper that I made inside a jar and brought my newly favorite books that my new care taker gave to me. Her name was Nelly and she says she was fond at me because she saw that I love reading books and she says that I have potential to be a writer someday because she loves and really appreciated my novice skills in writing. I really want to see that girl again. I didn’t know before the feeling of missing a person, I never missed my parents even once. I thought I would never felt that kind of feeling but it crept into my heart and I hated that feeling. I missed her and I wanted to talk to her once more.

I don’t know how long I waited for her that day. I was holding the jar and the books when Nelly woke me up. I saw in her eyes that she was worried about me. Well, it’s already dark when she saw me lying under that big tree and she thought that I hurt myself while playing under the tree. She told me to go back inside the house but I resisted to not going back. I was crying and shouting at her saying “Leave me alone!” She never gets angry at me but instead she hugs me saying “Tell me what’s the problem.” I hug her back and I can’t speak because of crying. My heart that day was aching so bad that I thought it will burst. It’s worst than an aching stomach when you’re hungry or even having bruises. My eyes were filled of tears and I can’t speak as I could.

We went back inside the house and Nelly gave me a glass of water to calm myself. She holds my hand and asked me once again what had happen. I told her that I was waiting for someone, a girl in the same orphanage. She asked me her name. And I realized that day that I really didn’t know that girl’s name. I just told her what she likes, her face and the built of her body. And Nelly promised me that she would ask the old care takers about that girl. I was very happy to know that and that somehow gave me hope for some reason.

Next day, Nelly came early and I was excited to know about the girl. I approached her immediately and told her if she had asked the old care takers about the girl and if she was able to saw her. Nelly told me to take her on that big tree saying that she wanted to saw it. Then she told me to wait for her there because she was going to get something in the office. While I was waiting under the big tree somehow I heard that someone was calling my name. I thought at first it was Nelly who’s calling me but no one was there… it’s just me. I thought maybe it was just my imagination. When I was there I couldn’t help myself thinking my happy days when I was playing under the tree with that girl. I thought my happy days was when I’m playing there alone but I can’t lie to myself about the different kind of happiness I had felt when she started to became part of my life. I finally knew that it was a different feeling when you know that someone was there to be with you. I remember how hard I was hitting my head when I was about to think the happy memories we had together… because it’s better to hit myself than to hurt my heart because of thoughts of not seeing her again. Then it crosses my mind maybe there was a family that adopted her and maybe she was happy now. I should get her address to mail her and I was hoping that Nelly was getting that girl address for me.

Nelly came with a file of documents. It was the documents of all the girls in that orphanage. There pictures were all there, their names and even their birthday. Nelly told me to look at those documents if I would be able to find her just knowing her face. I was so excited while browsing those documents and I wish that I would find her. I can’t help to wonder what her name was and I’m so stupid to not know it then. I saw all the documents but she was not there. I thought that her face was different in a picture so I browse it all over again. As I was trying hard to remember her face somehow her face seems to vanished inside my head. When I was about to cry and lose hope Nelly told me that maybe she just missed some of the other documents and promised me that we will do it again. Somehow it gave me another hope of finding her again.

On the next day Nelly didn’t brought any documents with her but she accompanied me in the girls’ house in that orphanage since the boys and girls house were separated. Nelly introduced me to all of them but I didn’t saw that girl. Some of the girls I had met were not the same age as me. There were two girls with same age but I know that they were not that girl. Though her face seems to disappear inside my head I know how she smiles and how she talks. But none of them was her. We spent our day looking for her but we failed and it just crosses my mind that she was good at hiding. As I remember it my heart once again starts aching. I missed her, I really do. When we started to give up, an old care taker asks us whose we’re looking for. I told her about the girl that I met on that big tree. She was shocked when I described that girl not her face though but that way she talked and some of her weird attitude. She said that she knew that girl. I was happy when she told us that. But she never told me the details instead she only talked to Nelly. Again I felt real happiness, I was wishing of finally knowing her name, her address so that I could send the jokes I had written for her in a piece of paper and I was going to send her many poems I had made for her. I know she will be happy just like she was when were together under that big tree. Then Nelly came at me and told me all the things the old care taker told her.

I stunned. I cannot speak. I cannot accept it. That the girl that I wanted to see, I wanted to be with. The girl who found my favorite airplane toy. The girl who shared many stories with me, who laugh with me and smile at me often, whose good at hiding and listening… and most of all whom for the first time became one and only best friend that I had and gave me indescribable happiness inside that took away my loneliness… was just a ghost…

Sadness came into my heart when I remember what Nelly told me about this girl named Amelia and she died long before I came in the orphanage when I was a baby. She died because of lukemia. She knows her parents but she came from a poor family and when her mother died her father left her. And she ended up in the orphanage. The old care taker was the one who took care of her. She said that she was kind of weird because she wanted to always be alone. She was always playing all by herself on that big tree.... Until she got sick and she couldn’t play anymore and then she died.

When I came to know all of it…I was scared. I didn’t visit that big tree anymore. I tried to forget all of what had happened and Nelly tried to help me with that. She was a wonderful person because despite of all that happens she didn’t leave me and never even once thought that I was a weirdo and she gave me lot of books for me to enjoy with. One day she adopted me. She wanted me to become part of her family. Now, I finally got my own family and they’re all wonderful person especially my new mom, Nelly.

However, though it was already fading in my head… the memories of Amelia my childhood best friend. A girl who makes me happy in the darkest day of my life… who showed me what happiness was really all about and how important it was to have a friend on your own. I thought maybe I somehow help her too. To finally have someone to talk to and maybe because of that she finally became happy and ready to go to where she really belongs. I know she was a ghost but the fact that she became part of the happiest moment of my life will never be erased and will never be forgotten...