What if....

I close my eyes and dream of “WHAT IF”…

What if I have all the things I ever wanted in life…

Beautiful and big houses, expensive cars, High-tech gadgets, expensive accessories with important gems that covers it, becoming a famous star and celebrity that everyone talks about, having a perfect face and body, owning big companies and businesses all over the world and having friends with known people and business tycoons …. I asked myself again “What if” I born and live like that? I have the things I wanted in life and I can have things with just one snap of my finger everything will be there in front of me that I don’t have to work hard for it.  Maybe I should die gladly and happily because I didn’t have to suffer much in this world. I have all the things that money can buy and I think I will be satisfied for the rest of my life.

But when I’m dreaming about it and imagining that I have all those things that people is dying to have… some kind of emptiness and loneliness crept into my heart and mind. I wonder why I feel unhappy to all the things I’m dreaming about.

And then I remember to look into my true view, into my reality. I remember all the simple things that make me smile and happy. I remember being with my family, watching movies with them, having a simple meals everyday that my mother cooked and saying it was delicious, playing computer games with my cousins, having get together with my relatives, having my friends around me, sharing them my thoughts and feelings, sharing funny jokes, dreaming with them and sometimes sharing some bitterness about life. I remember my first job and salary that I can’t think of anything to buy and ends up of buying simple things I needed and simple food I wanted to eat. I remember how I divide the small money I’ve earned, I divide it equally depends on my own needs and wants… and it was my first time to budget my own money and now I’d say it’s not a simple task. I remember how I bow to my Korean bosses when I’m working with them, how my feet hurts badly because of standing long hours in the mall and how my mother massage it at night just to relive the pain, how I endure the ridicule of someone else that I didn’t know and saying sorry to them although it’s not my fault, how desperately I’m looking for another job when my contract ends in a company I’m working with, how I need to obey my superiors and how I need to follow all of their orders even though your so beat to do all of that and they will say to you that you’re so slow, how I endure the long travel from my house to my work place, back and forth everyday, and sometimes when you’ve got sick they will blame you for being too weak.

I remember all of that and when I think about it I can’t help but just smile. =)... because I can’t imagine that I did all of that and I handle all of those things although it’s tough. I’m happy to know that I surpassed those days that it’s just like a dream to me now. I’m happy because my family is always there to support me and give me inspiration and strength to move ahead. And also about the people I’ve known during those days and they became part of my life.

Although they’re also simple and ordinary people like me they all touched my heart. They share wonderful things I’d learned about and I’ll never forget. They make me smile and took away all the bad things I felt that time, although they never knew about it, still I’m thankful because I’ve met them.

I also remember the people who were just for one minute of meeting them they’re wonderful enough to be known about. They’re not rich people or famous one but they’ve entertained me and gave me something money couldn’t buy. Small talks, simple jokes, their smile and saying thank you and take care, were all simple but just enough to make me feel glad and happy about life. And when I remember it I can’t help wishing of meeting them again.

The dream I had of wanting and having the things I didn’t possessed was something out of ordinary for an ordinary person like me. What if it turns out to be I’m having all of that, will I be happy and live my life ordinarily? Will I see an ordinary people a wonderful person that can make me smile and can share something to inspire me? Or will I see them as a person who just needs me because they wanted something to me. Will I know how to say thank you to the people who gave me simple things they had and say I’m sorry to the people I had done wrong or will I accept their apologize if they done wrong to me. Will I eat ordinary food they’ve eating and will I be able to have meals with my family and watch movies with them.  Will my mother cooked for us and will I say it was made by her. Will I ever write this to show you my feelings or will I just say to you the beautiful things I had experience with those star and celebrity I had met, meeting them all over the world, having a luxurious life with them and will I just tell to you other people experiences of hardship, instead of mine? …. And will I ever be thankful to “HIM” saying it was all his goodness and blessing to me that I received all I have or will I ignore him saying to myself it was done by my own hands and it’s that I’m just “GREAT!.”  … now I’m thinking…

 “WHAT IF”?....